7 Quotes to Live by in Your Twenties
Simple quotes to help you avoid having middle-age regrets
I’m well past the halfway point in life, and that’s only if I surpass the odds and outlive the stats. The average life expectancy of a woman in the United States is currently 81.1 years.
(Spoiler alert: I totally plan to do this.)
Eighty years seems like a very long time when you’re twenty. When you’re fifty-one, it looms over you like a creepy shadow on the wall, growing a bit larger every day.
I find myself reflecting a lot in middle age, probably because there is so much more to reflect upon. I could easily name dozens of things I’d have done differently.
I’d have used sunscreen and worn a hat. I’d have avoided incurring a huge college loan to repay. I’d have invested in Google back in 2004. I would not have married that dillweed.
It’s true that hindsight doesn’t need glasses.
None of these things are exactly regrets, however. (Except maybe the dillweed.) My regrets are more about how I wish I had lived during my early adult years.
1. Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right. — Henry Ford
I lived much of my life as a “glass half empty” kind of person. I figured if I didn’t get too excited about the possibility of a positive outcome, I wouldn’t be quite so disappointed when I didn’t get it.
It sounds practical in theory but is complete hogwash in practice. I was devaluing myself and undermining my ability to go after the things I desired most. By focusing on the negative, I was often bringing about the exact result I didn’t want.
A strong belief in yourself, when paired with a repeated action, will lead to the outcome you desire far more often than not. I wish I had understood this in my twenties. Which leads me to my next point…
2. Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. — George Addair
If you’re one of those people that came sailing out of the womb with a winning smile and a showstopping ability to throw your arms wide and yell, “Hello, World! Look at me!” then this piece of advice may not be for you.
It’s for us introverts who tiptoe through life, trying to keep a low profile. Who don’t want to be called on in class or negotiate during interviews. Sometimes our only goal is: no goal.
Unfortunately, being shy, highly empathetic, or having a fear of failure or a low self-image may stop you from chasing your dreams. Fear feels too big to overcome. This is especially true when we’re young and overly concerned with what others think.
If you finally get the courage to face your fear and go for it, an amazing thing happens — you gain confidence. You recognize that the fear was in your head. I wish I had gone after every single adventure and goal I dreamed of and never let fear stop me.
3. If you are not doing what you love, you are wasting your time. — Billy Joel
Sometimes we have to suck it up and do things we don’t enjoy: pay taxes, remove slimy produce from the vegetable drawer, get a colonoscopy.
What we don’t have to do is spend our one precious life slogging off to a job that (at best) leaves us unfilled, or (at worst) makes us utterly despondent.
Figure out what makes you feel happy and energized and do more of that. Figure out what makes you feel miserable and drained and then avoid it like it’s a pair of itchweed underwear.
I wish I hadn’t wasted decades of my life doing jobs that I disliked and wasn’t a good fit for. It’s never too late to start over, but it is a bit harder once you use wrinkle cream and enjoy naps.
4. Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving. — Warren Buffet
If topics like budgeting and financial planning make you feel like chucking a calculator at the wall, or you think investing is only for the rich and famous, I’m talking to you.
If you spend your life ignoring your finances, you will spend your life struggling with finances.
You don’t have to become a professional financial planner or an investment guru — but the sooner you learn to manage and grow your money, the easier your life will be.
There are endless free options for educating yourself about money, including financial websites, blogs, and YouTube videos. There are budgeting, saving, and investing apps for your phone. Don’t spend your life living one paycheck away from ruin.
I wish I had begun learning to manage and invest my money from my very first paycheck. If I had, I could be writing this article from my terraza along the Costa del Sol.
5. Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live. — Jim Rohn
Youth has a high bounce back rate. A twenty-year-old can eat their weight in Cheetos, drink their face off until the wee hours, pass out on the floor without a pillow, and still show up for a nine a.m. job interview looking polished and rested.
Middle age isn’t forgiving. I’ve thrown out my back putting a fitted sheet on my bed. I can no longer eat dairy or gluten without consequences. I get stiff, things hurt, I’m tired. It’s not fun.
On top of it, things droop. They crease and bulge and sag. It’s not pretty. By middle age, everything that has been long let go of is decidedly not going back where it belongs, no matter how hard you work out.
I wish I had eaten better and gotten in really good shape as a young person (when everything was still where it should be) and then stayed in shape for life. I miss wearing shorts.
6. If you don’t transform your suffering, you will transmit it. — Father Richard Rohr
Name a destructive feeling or behavior (anger, anxiety, jealousy, depression, anorexia, obesity, alcoholism, cutting, drug addiction, risky sex, toxic relationships, etc.) and you can almost always name the root cause: pain.
If you don’t resolve your pain, you will drag it into every relationship you have — particularly with your partner and your children. You will not mean to, and you will not want to, but you will.
Deal with what hurt you as soon as you’re able. Not only will you save yourself a lifetime of needless suffering and self-sabotage, but you won’t take your pain out on the people who care the most about you.
I wish I hadn’t waited so long to face my own pain and shame. It would likely have saved me from more than a couple of unhealthy relationships. And from eating all that ice cream.
7. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. — Maya Angelou
Is it just me, or do people seem to be irritated all the time? Complaining has become a way of life. We have bad attitudes about everything, everywhere, from politics to coworkers to celebrities to celebrity haircuts.
It’s made worse by the accessibility of social media and online forums. Opinions are so quick and easy to give. And our opinion is going to change everyone else’s mind, right? Not. Contrary to popular belief, we are not obligated to say everything we think.
Our opinions are just our opinions, no matter how strong our beliefs are. No one is right about everything. If we’re being critical because we want to be right or feel superior, then we’re just adding noise without making a difference.
A bad attitude is, ultimately, a choice. It’s a waste of energy. I wish I had been more conscious of this earlier in life and avoided complaining about things I couldn’t change.
It’s hard to say whether I would have listened to or even fully understood any well-intentioned life advice in my early adulthood. Sometimes age and experience are necessary teachers.
But I hope something here may help you live a life where you don’t look back and wish for something different.
Believe in yourself. Learn to make and manage your money. Take care of your body and your mental health. And don’t marry a dillweed.
